Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
