u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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