Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
