it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
