Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
