Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My vagina just clenched in fear
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
