I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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