you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
