i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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