If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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