The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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