You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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