That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
