My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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