susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
