I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
