Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
