Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
