did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
