there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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