K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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