called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
