I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
