He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
