God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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