We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
