And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
