going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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