Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
