Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
