don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
this boner is exhausting
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
