My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
