bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
