i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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