It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
