She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
