No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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