i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
