Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
foreskin is a definite game changer
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
