do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
