My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
