two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's the barista slut.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
