that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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