God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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