My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You pole danced in your parka.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
