This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
