nutella sex= disaster
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
