Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
