You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
