every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
