Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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