if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
