His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
