Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
